It’s obvious that men are in a lot of pain.

However this pain is becoming a catalyst for countless numbers of men to explore the emotional and spiritual geography of their lives as well as create a new vision for what it means to be a man. Workshops, retreats, and men’s groups are providing safe havens where men talk from the heart instead of the head. A commonly held perception is that men express their spirituality in more primal, aggressive modes like beating a drum. Rather, what seems to be emerging in men is a more reflective spirituality that focuses on cultivating inner qualities such as compassion, intimate connection, and mutual respect rather than power and authority. Some are saying their spiritual work is helping them find inner peace, live more authentic lives, and have more fulfilling relationships, especially with women.

During the industrial revolution of the late 1800’s to early 1900’s, a seismic shift occurred economically, socially and culturally. For men and their sons, and consequently for society as a whole, this shift proved catastrophic. Men left their homes to seek work many miles from the common thread that historically united grandfathers, fathers and sons. This was a tribal thread that had once woven the males into the fabric of lineage of men that had come before them. Older men had always initiated the younger boys into the ways of men, guiding them to find a balance point deep within their masculine souls. Today, ceremonial rites of passage are all but extinct in our society. As a result, most boys are not spiritually awakened. They do not grow up to feel competent around other men and with their own manhood. They then have sons of their own and the cycle continues. If we are to find new ways to initiate our boys and share with them their spiritual and masculine legacies, it will only come after we all do a great deal of soul searching. This search can lead to spiritual insight and a movement towards embodiment, transformation, and service.
The challenge many men are encountering now on their path to spiritual awakening is how to integrate these more sensitive qualities into their lifestyle without losing touch with their masculine warrior energy. The goal, it seems is not to become a sensitive, tie-dye wearing new age guy but instead embrace one’s wholeness. For many men the greatest fear they have to overcome during their spiritual passage is facing prolonged uncertainty. The void that all spiritual warriors pass through between the disintegration of the old unconscious self and the emergence of the new conscious self is terrifying.

Slowing the pace, listening more attentively, and cultivating inner awareness are ways men are making healthier and more conscious choices. Men are also seeking spiritual guidance and inspiration from the various wisdom traditions around the world. What they are learning from their search into the sacred text and teachings of Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sufism, mythology and Native American culture is that they are experiencing what every spiritual warrior has experienced through out the history of time – the loss of self. As horrifying as this is for many men, they are also realizing that not having a fixed identity is helping them discover their more true empowered selves, moment by moment. Slowly, one by one, men are going through the transformational fire of death and rebirth and coming more fully into their wholeness, into their power, and into their humanity. And, because of this the world is becoming a better place for everyone.

I am fascinated with money and people’s relationship with it.

The history of human’s creation of money isn’t clear, but it is intriguing. We have apparently been a tool-using people for several thousands of years; but the period around 5000 years ago, when we began to domesticate animals, was the first time rings and axes appear to have been used to exchange goods. These artifacts have been found in burial sites in Brittany, Create, Mycenae, and Silesia. The Pharaohs, 4000 years ago, used copper as the unit of exchange in Egypt. An alloy of copper, silver, and gold was used in Babylonia. A thousand years ago, the Chinese in the Tang Dynasty issued paper money; followed by the development of banking 500 years ago and paper currency in Europe.

It seems at some point early on in the modern era, our society chose things over time, material objects over leisure, resulting in the present situation in which we have a great deal of stuff but very little time. Is the new currency time? Is the Justin Timberlake movie In Time going to come true? Set in a near or far future in a segregated city, the movie imagines a world in which everyone stops aging at 25. (Just like in Hollywood!) On that birthday a glowing green digital clock on everyone’s left forearm starts running, giving them just 365 days to go and then 364, 363, 362. When the days run out, the clock stops for good. In this future world in which time is literally money — everything, including food, shelter and wages, is valued in minutes, hours, years, decades — it’s possible to slow the escaping hourglass sand by buying more time, as the rich do. The poor are slaves to time.

Talk to anyone in the ad industry these days and they will agree; time is the new currency. Brands, entertainment, technology, you name it, all compete for the public’s attention. And if someone is willing to spend “time” with you (forget spending money), in this fractured, over-caffeinated, A.D.D. world, someone gracing you with his or her attention is the ultimate compliment.

Yet, ironically, if you take a step back it seems people have more free time than ever. Blogs, podcasts, YouTube, MySpace, Pinterest, who are all these people who have tons of excess time to make spoof commercials and photo montages? I can barely climb out of the deluge of magazines that pile up next to my bed every week, yet there seem to be an abundance of folks who have all the time in the world to create “user-generated” content that’s all the rage these days.

Yes, time and money suffer from similar delusions. The proliferation of desire has been the basis for our capitalistic economy. It is not the satisfaction of desire, but the creation of artificial desire. People do not need 99% of the products that are offered in the market place. If the so-called “normal” desires would be satisfied, then the economy would collapse. Who needs 20 kinds of orange juice in the supermarket? This is where the time problem comes in. Because of all these desires, we have to work harder and longer hours to afford these desires and then we have too little time to buy the products or services, let alone enjoy them. This, in turn, is a reflection of living in our heads and continuously being busy with our possible future desires. Time seems to pass faster and faster. We just don’t have enough time to do what we think we need to do; we do not even have time to do what we really need to do. That is time poverty. Just as we have seen with money, with time we are also seeing the loss of values and the loss of the sense of what a human being is all about. 


If time is the new currency, when you have the power to give time, you truly have reached success.

Through the practice of meditation, we can activate a different response, one of restful awareness, intuitiveness, and creativity. Meditation takes our body and our mind from a place of hyperactivity, fear, unrest, and uneasiness to a state of inner calm, peace, and silence.

In meditation, as we cultivate the ability to witness the activity of the mind, we spontaneously make more conscious choices. We’re able to access the response that best supports our own health and wellbeing. Stress then becomes something that we can observe and release.

Through meditation, we can reverse the effects of accumulated stress and toxicity. Meditation, in fact, has several different effects on the body; both on the physical body and on the psychological well being of the mind. First, some of the physical benefits of meditation include:
• Oxygen consumption lessens
• Respiratory rates decease
• A marked increase in blood flow occurs, which in turn slows the heart rate
• Meditation actually increases the level of exercise tolerance in heart patients
• High blood pressure is lowered to normal levels
• A decrease in muscle tension and headaches
• Increases in the production of serotonin levels (which influences and mood and behavior). Note that low levels of serotonin have been associated with depression, obesity, insomnia and headaches.
• Meditation has also been shown to help in chronic diseases, such as allergies and arthritis.
• In women, meditation can reduce pre-menstrual syndrome.
Perhaps most important among meditation facts is that this practice can actually enhance the immune system. Recent research demonstrates that meditation can increase the activity of “natural-killer” cells. This is important because these natural killer cells help to kill bacteria and cancer cells.
Amazingly enough, there are even more documented health benefits. Individuals who practice meditation also have a decreased metabolic rate, and because of this, the heart works less strenuously to pump blood throughout the body.
Along with this drop in cholesterol levels, there’s also a reduction of free radicals. Free radicals are unstable oxygen molecules that cause tissue damage within the body. Decreasing the levels of free radicals, are important because they are thought to play an integral role in the aging process. It’s thought that if we could slow or eliminate the proliferation of free radicals, we may actually be able to slow the aging process!
Meditation can also have positive effects on the psychological well being of its practitioners, who report:
• Greater levels of creativity
• A decrease in anxiety
• Decreased depression
• A decrease in feelings of irritability and moodiness
• Improved learning abilities and increase in memory retention
• Increase feelings of vitality and rejuvenation
• Most people report feeling a general sense of happiness and emotional stability
Find a place where you can be quiet either outdoors, in your home, your office or perhaps while on a plane. Think of a word or set of words for your mantra. Some possibilities include peace, love, joy, bills, shalom, or amen. Close your eyes and take three very deep breaths originating in your lower abdomen. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Notice the temperature of the air you inhale. Expand your chest and belly. Exhale. Breathe in, and say your mantra silently. Breathe out and silently say your mantra. Allow each inhalation to be deeper, ever exhalation deliberate. When you have a thought, acknowledge it and release it. Don’t fight your thoughts. Then go back to your breath.
Try meditation, and hopefully this will prevent you from running and screaming down a Southwest airplane aisle or running naked up Mesa.

She lived with bees, worked with bees, and slept with bees.

Her whole life was spent with bees, and she’d never thought anything of it.

Yet, she was never a very good bee.

She couldn’t carry pollen well.

She was terrible at making honey.

And getting into the hive? Oh that was just a total nightmare.

All in all, her life was not a happy one.

She did her best to fit in, but it always seemed like she was bumping into someone or making mistakes.

The other bees would tell her, “Your wings are too big” and “Why can’t you make honey like the rest of us?”

At night, she would secretly wish that she wasn’t a bee

And she’d have dreams of floating on great big air currents without any concern for getting pollen for the hive.

The next morning she’d always try to forget the dreams as nonsense and would struggle on with her life.

Then one day, she met a great big blue butterfly.

So stunned by his color and beautiful wings, she did not know what to say.

And would not have said anything if he had not spoken.

“And where are you fluttering off to today?” he asked.

She was quite surprised by his voice, but feeling rather bee-ish, she did not like the term fluttering.

“I am not fluttering anywhere. I am busy working on getting pollen for the hive.”

The big blue butterfly looked very strangely at her.

“Why in the world are you doing that?”

“So that we can make more honey,” she said primly.

“Honey? Why do you need to make honey?”

“Well, good sir, because I am a bee.”

The other butterfly stared at her for a long moment, and what he next said changed everything.

“My dear. You most certainly are not. You are a butterfly.”

But she was not ready to hear this.

Having gathered her courage with a little bit of indignation, she bade him farewell and a good day fluttering wherever he willed.

She had work to do.

But later that night, the dreams came back. Now she was fluttering with not just the other butterfly, but many other butterflies.

The other bees noticed her work got even worse in the next couple of weeks until finally the Queen called her in.

After a tearful discussion, the butterfly was let go.

She packed her things and got lots of other good wishes that she’d find a new hive with bigger hallways for her over-sized wings.

She wandered for some time, talking to other bees, who looked at her strangely for inquiring about working with them.

One day, she was sitting by a clear pond.

It was one of the clearest, she’d ever seen. The water was so pure. It reflected everything perfectly as it is.

She looked at the trees and the rocks and the clouds reflected in the waters.

The lines and contours were perfectly etched in the reflection. It was almost like the whole world was captured in its purest truth in that water.

As she looked around it, she finally paused when she saw this amazing butterfly.

She turned quickly around in case the stranger she met awhile ago had found her again.

But there was no one behind her.

She looked back at the water, and once again, there was the butterfly looking quizzically at her.

She turned around again. Was this a game? Was he hiding from her?

This went on for some minutes until she found her courage to reach out.

Slowly. Very painstakingly. She reached out to the water.

In return, the other butterfly slowly and very painstakingly reached out to her.

Her heart started to pound wildly. She began to sweat.

She could barely breathe.

Their hands met and broke the separation between the two worlds.

And she knew she was a butterfly.

But you see, her whole world was now completely upside down.

Or as it were, she was now completely rightside up.

Knowing the truth was one thing, but she had no idea what to do now.

What do butterflies do? How do they live? Even more importantly, how do they make honey?

She knew what she had to do. She had to find that other butterfly.

She set off immediately, recklessly, and hopefully.

She searched high and low, near and far.

She searched in caves, on mountain tops, and in other small communities of creatures said to be wise beyond their years.

Until she was quite distraught and ready to give up.

When a toad happened to hop up along beside her.

“You seem very troubled. What is the problem my dear?”

“I am searching for someone, but I cannot find him.”

“And why are you searching for this individual?”

“Because I need him to tell me how to be a butterfly.”

The toad laughed at this. “But my dear, do you not already know this? Are you not already a butterfly?”

“All my life, I thought I was a bee. So that’s what I did. How do I be a butterfly when I have never done it before?”

The toad nodded knowingly and patted the butterfly on the back.

“Because what you do, has nothing to do with what you are. Just be you, and it’ll all work out just fine.”

And then the toad hopped away on its path to find food and water and other nourishment it saw fit to enjoy.

The butterfly thought about what the toad said, and she began to do all the things that she’d dreamed about.

She spread her wings wide, as wide as they could go, no longer hiding them.

At first, she still flew like she used to.

Her wings were atrophied and stunted from being collapsed and trying to fit into small spaces.

But soon, they expanded out into their natural form.

And the wind would come and pick her up and carry her around.

She fluttered about and drifted on different currents for days.

She found everything to suddenly be so easy, so effortless being a butterfly.

She did all of the things that felt most true in her heart, and she forgot about hives, honey, and pollen-gathering.

She fell into a deep ecstasy with each moment of just being who she was.

And she realized that all the stuff she’d been searching for was already inside her.

No one could tell her who she was.

Because she knew she was a butterfly through and through, and that was the truth.

So what do you do if you have a boss who unreasonably does things like Miranda such as: yells and screams, forces you to work extended overtime, insults and humiliates you personally or in front of others, and blames you when things go wrong? If you can’t leave because you desperately need the job or see it as the next step up in the career ladder, then your best option is to do the best you can in what seems like an impossible situation.

You can’t change your boss, but you can change you.

Having a bad boss doesn’t excuse you from being a good person or a good employee. And good employees manage up. Accomplish this by controlling your response to the boss’s craziness. Maintain your sense of poise, productivity and balance. Practice relaxation or meditation techniques before you allow yourself to respond with anger. Find a quiet place, close your eyes and say to yourself, “I am calm and relaxed, nothing bothers me. I feel healthy, happy and fantastic. Streams of power flow through my veins, all is well.” Put the words you say to yourself in the present. Or close your eyes and take three, long deep breaths before you start screaming like an alien who landed in Roswell.

Bring your “A” game to work every single day. Perform like you have never performed before. My father used to tell me, “If you are a street sweeper, then be the happiest and the best street sweeper in the company.” It is hard for a boss to complain if you’re doing everything right and smiling about it. You will feel better after trying your best instead of complaining. Sometimes the workplace is dirty, unethical and downright nasty, but don’t ever be a part of that. By complaining you’re contributing to the negative environment instead of showing your real value and true work ethic.

Realize that the opportunity in most jobs is not to learn a specific or creative skill, but to learn people skills. This is what will differentiate you and help you succeed over anything else. That’s why you’re actually lucky to have a bad boss! There will never be a deficiency of difficult people at your job or in your life. Use this prime opportunity to your advantage, and remember nothing lasts forever.

Not all of us are suited to be presidents of company’s or inspirational leaders. Most of us don’t realize how difficult it really is to be a good manager. Your participation, empathy, attitude and respect towards your boss will be reflected in how your boss treats you. It is truly the responsibility of the employee to bring out the best in the manager. That is what it really means to, “Boss It Up With Balance!”

I wonder if he wore Penn State blue? How is it possible that someone…ANYONE.. from the university hasn’t asked him to hand over all his Penn State attire? Where are the Penn State leaders in this deal? Again, no where to be found.